


The Crucible of Maya Herrara

by kuwdora



Category: Heroes - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Forgiveness, Gen, Season 2, Vignettes, sin - Freeform, written because i hated the Maya bashing during 2008
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-27 21:43:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1723499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuwdora/pseuds/kuwdora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Have mercy on me, a sinner.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Crucible of Maya Herrara

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very overdue fic for my Maya claim for [](http://choc-fic.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://choc-fic.livejournal.com/)**choc_fic** 's Characters of Color Love Fest. These vignettes basically missing tags for Maya's arc during season 2, going chronologically from Venezuela to New York. The prompt was "and she likes to imagine what it will be like."

**I. Prayer of the Penitent**

_Have mercy on me, a sinner._

Maya woke to the sun shining through the curtains, warming her cheeks and she laid there with her eyes closed, appreciating the light. She stretched and made a noise upon realizing how sticky with sweat she was beneath layers of cotton. During the night she’d managed to get her coverlet tangled around her chest and between her legs, essentially smothering her. She writhed uncomfortably and sat up, blinking her eyes free of sleep and discomfort and tried to loosen herself from the white cocoon. Once she could breathe without the tight constriction in her chest, Maya glanced across the shared room where the other single bed was empty and neatly made. That wasn’t surprising. Sister Raquel always rose well before dawn, dilligent in helping Sister Julia prepare breakfast for the rest of the sisters. Maya was glad for the the solitude because it helped her prepare for her morning prayers.

Maya stood, thankful for the new day where she would continue her life in the service of God. She moved towards the dresser and bent to shimmy out of her her sleepwear but her knee banged against the dresser and nearly tumbled backwards. She stuck a foot out to catch her balance and winced as her foot skid, catching a splinter. Maya sighed and soundlessly hobbled to the edge of the bed. It was only a piece of wood, it could be a lot worse. Maya twisted her leg to look. The splinter was too small to see but she could definitely feel it there, just under the skin. Frowning, she began kneading the tough heel to retrieve the piece of food. It didn’t take much effort to work it free, but enough blood trickled from the slit that Maya sat for several minutes, applying pressure before the flow stopped. Her foot was still tender when she stood, but she thanked the Lord nonetheless for the ease of it’s removal. That pain would be temporary. If only she could remove the evil inside of her so easily.

That would take work, dedication, and God’s forgivenss.

Moving her feet as little as possible, she began dressing. Maya was sure that donning the habit helped in preventing the blackness inside of her from escaping, helping to keep the evil at bay. No one had collapsed and choked in agony since she arrived at the convent. That’s how she knew she made the right decision in staying. The sisters and Father Rodrigo were good to her and sometimes Maya even felt safe among them. Execpt when she didn’t. The pervasive worry ate away at her soul, where she feared that her lack of faith would keep her from finding redemption. Maya might be shrouded in the service and love of God but she often dreamt that her the evil inside of her would infect everyone and that she’d wake to find Sister Raquel and everyone else dead, faces ashen and hollow with blackness oozing from their eyes and mouths.

Maya adjusted her cuffs and pulled them down to her wrists, gathered her rosary from the nightstand and made her way through the narrow hallways, nodding politely to the sisters she passed. No one stopped her in the mornings. They all knew Maya as the young, determined woman who worked quite hard in the garden and kitchen, but not before she began her day in the front pew. She had almost begun to feel comfortable enough to go with Sister Veronica to the market for supplies, but she didn’t dare risk it. The darkness within her lurked like the serpent, coiled muscles of evil, ready to strike at any moment. It wasn’t safe, not yet. Perhaps if she prayed long enough that time would come when she could face the world.

Maya walked with her arms tucked into her sides, rosary tangled in her fingers, trying to appear as small, shapeless and humble as possible. More sisters were up and about for their own morning routines. She nodded to each in turn, grateful to see that they were very much alive.

She offered a somber smile to Sister Rita whom she passed upon entering the church. Maya paused on the threshold, taking in the sight of the empty church. Part of Maya believed the control she had over the darkness was nothing more than a facade. The walls and beams of the church were strong, fortified by good craftmanship and God’s will, but Maya knew that it wouldn’t keep the darkness inside if it really wanted to escape and kill.

She was still so lost and scared.

Maya walked down the aisle, hands coming together as she took her usual place in the first pew, bowing her head and began the Apostle’s Creed. It wasn’t until Maya was meditating on the Sorrowful Mysteries, thumbing beads so tightly that her rosary snapped— beads scattering in every direction. Her chest tightened in surprise and she suppressed a sob. Maya picked a stray bead from the black folds of her sleeve. There couldn’t be such a thing as praying too hard.

Maya sniffled and began picking up the nearest beads from her side of the pew. After she had gathered most of what she could find, she sat on the floor of the pew, loose beads rolling around in the palm of her hand. In the other she held the broken rosary which she examined gently fingered. The thin chain that kept the other beads strung together felt as if it was going to snap at any moment. She closed both her fists and rose back to her kneeling position. She would finish her prayer. Maya had the commitment and determination to seek God’s forgiveness and help, even if she didn’t know what it would be like, or if she even deserved it.

 

 

**II. Land of the Free**

_On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,_  
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,  
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,  
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses? 

 

Holding her breath wasn’t working. The aging banana peel somewhere in the ramshackle shanty continued to keep her awake and Maya worried that she’d never get the putrid stench out of her mouth and nostrils. Her back was pressed against Alejandro and through the darkness, her eyes roamed the outlines of the sleeping figures across from her. The weary travelers carried backpacks full of hopes and dreams just like she. Everyone wanted to make it to America. Jobs, family, opportunity awaited them if they could make it across the border. Maya and Alejandro had only themselves as guides for now. The had to spread their money thin if they were going to find a coyote to take them across the border. They had an even longer journey ahead once they crossed and no one to help them once they reached the other side. New York City. Brooklyn. On the opposite side of the country they’d never been, to find a doctor they only knew from a book. Maya was determined that they would make it. They had to. There was no other choice. She couldn’t bear the thought of killing anyone else.

Maya adjusted her backpack that doubled as an awkward pillow and began breathing through her mouth. She couldn’t wait to get to America. No more images of it on television or books or stories from American tourists on vacation in Santo Domingo. She would get to see the real thing. She quietly prayed that Doctor Suresh would be accommodating even despite the fact they didn’t have money for any kind of treatment. Maya and Alejandro had discussed the issue of money before even reaching the border of Nicaragua and decided that they would do anything necessary as payment, but Alejandro made her promise to not bring it up or think again until they arrived. But how would she and Alejandro find one man in all of New York City? If they did find him, what if Doctor Suresh didn’t know what was wrong with her? What if he couldn’t help her? What if he did and wouldn’t? Maya didn’t sneaking around foreign countries, stealing food and money.

Maya wrapped her fingers around the strap of her pack and sighed, hoping Doctor Suresh had answers and a way to help her and Alejandro break free of her black shackles.

 

 

**III. Chastity**

Maya pressed her cheek into Gabriel’s palm. He pulled away, knuckles feathering her jawline and Maya forgot how to breathe. She reached for his other hand and their fingers locked together.

“Is this okay?” he whispered. He looked down at her and took a step back, eyes wide with curiosity. Maya found it difficult to swallow. He was a kindred spirit, lost, done terrible things, full of regret, but his kindness was unlike anything she’d seen before. Her heart pounded, and not because the dark thing inside of her was coming out—no, this was different. She was excited, exhilirated. She squeezed his hand.

“Yes,” she said.

Gabriel pulled her close again and wrapped his arms around her, his hug so encompassing that Maya felt like she could stand there forever just being held. It was wonderful.

“Wait for me in your room,” he said, his lips tickling her ear. He tilted her chin and she rose up on her toes to better meet his lips. She gasped at the feel of his tongue and he pulled her even closer and deepened the kiss, sending her stomach aflurry with even more excitement.

He pulled away and smiled. “I’ll be right there.”

She touched his lips with her fingers and nodded.

He slipped back to his room while she turned to hers. Inside Maya sat on the edge of her bed for what felt like hours, but she knew were only minutes. When Gabriel knocked and then opened up the door, he smiled sheepishly at her.

“Hi,” Maya said, standing as he entered. He pulled the towel he had draped over his shoulder and tossed it aside. Maya’s eyes slingshot from the towel back to Gabriel and his naked chest.

“Hola,” he said.

“Your Spanish is getting better,” she said with a tiny smile. She didn’t know else to say.

Gabriel strode towards her in less than three paces and scooped her into his arms as if she weighed nothing. Her eyes went wide, looking into his face as he smiled bashfully. “Gracias. I have a very good teacher,” he said.

“Profesora,” she said, her arms trailing down the length of his back. Her sleeves and front of her shirt were becoming damp from the spots where he didn’t towel enough. She wasn’t going to complain.

“Profesora,” he whispered just before exploring her collarbone with tongue.

Maya ran her fingers through his wet hair and let out a surprised noise when he picked her up and carried her to the bed. They fell together, but Gabriel was careful not to crush her with his weight. He leaned into Maya and pressed a dry kiss to her lips and each of her cheeks. She held held his face and gasped when she felt his damp hand sneak under the cotton of her shirt, feathering her stomach with light touches.

Tender lips on her neck, light and and shy, sent her belly into further gymnastic feats. He pulled his hand away and reached to brush the hair from her face.

“You’re very beautiful,” Gabriel said, looking straight into her eyes. He wasn’t afraid of her, of what she could do. He traced the curve her necklace, fingering the cross with his index finger. He was truly mesmerizing. Gabriel’s lips and tongue parted her mouth achingly slow, drawing _life_ , not death from her body, making her belly twinge with desire. It was as if Gabriel knew what she wanted because he moved to straddle her small form, holding her face gently and pressing his waist to her. He was so invigorating and full of life and experience that Maya didn’t know how to follow his movements, so sure, so tender and sensual that she felt like a robot as he helped her discard her top layers until she was stripped to her blue tank.

He pushed the thin blue fabric up and placed a kiss on her stomach, his fingers tracing, always tracing, the worn fabric of her bra before traveling to unbutton her jeans. Maya could still barely breathe as the tell-tale sound of the zipper coming undone reached her ears. He thumbed the thin elastic of her panties and she inexplicably flinched at his touch.

Sensing her anxiety, he kissed her chin and lips and pressed his forehead to hers, staring into her eyes, staring right past the blackness, and held her by the shoulders.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, rubbing circles into her triceps.

She wanted him so badly. Gabriel knew her in so many ways that she couldn’t explain except that he had to be a guardian angel. Her journey had been too serendipitous not to be real. It was scary, having someone this close when she didn’t know what was going on inside of her body, the feelings, the pleasures.

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” she whispered, closing her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see his expression.

“Shhh,” he said and kissed her so deeply she felt it hum through her body. She moaned, holding onto him by his broad shoulders.

One of his fingers found it’s way beneath her panties, down further where the twinge of desire was emanating from. Maya gasped as his fingers kneaded her softness, making her arch. She was surprised to find how wet she was. His fingers deftly teased the skin and hair and Maya couldn’t keep herself still. She was hot, rattled and going crazy because Gabriel knew exactly what felt good, but it was too much, too much good. It was too fast for her.

She automatically reached for his hand and pulled it from her panties. Gabriel stopped and swallowed, looking nervous as nervous as she felt.

“I.. I can’t,” she said. “Not now. When I’m like this.”

“Oh, Maya. You’re more special than realize,” Gabriel said, reaching to cup her face.

“I want this… but not now,” she stammered, averting her eyes again. Gabriel leaned into her line of sight and smiled.

“I understand,” he cooed, placing another gentle, chaste kiss on her lips before getting up.

As soon as he got up, she immediately began to miss the warmth pressed against her. She grabbed him by the wrist and sat up.

“Stay. Please,” she said, tugging him back. She felt silly patting the bed beside her, but she didn’t know how else to say it. He gave her a puzzled look.

She glanced to the empty bed that Alejandro used to sleep in, but didn’t anymore. He left her. It was for the best, but still, he left her.

“I am not used to being alone,” she said quietly. “Just stay with me?”

Gabriel smiled and laid down beside her, gathering her up in his arms. They laid quietly and Gabriel covered Maya’s small hand with his. She looked forward to the time when she could be with him in the way that he wanted, when she felt sure of herself and of the world, but Maya could think of no better substitute than just lying with Gabriel like this. He dragged his hand up her arm and touched her cross again.

“What’s your favorite passage?” he asked into her hair, his hand gently moving to touch her face, fingers glazing her cheek. He gently stroked her forehead, reassuring in the repetition and Maya closed her eyes and sighed, luxuriating in the touch and appreciating the closeness and understanding of someone else in the world.

 

**IV. Home of the Brave**  
 _Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,_  
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:  
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave  
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave 

 

Maya could turn _Activating Evolution_ over in her hands only so many times before she would go crazy with anticipation. She stood up from the kitchen table and began to pace.

“Doctor Suresh will be here soon,” Gabriel said, his cool fingers wrapping themselves around her arm as she passed. Maya stopped and looked at him.

“Where will I begin? Will he understand?”

“We’ve gone over this before. Doctor Suresh has plenty of experience in dealing with people like you and I,” Gabriel said, guiding her back to sit down. She sat for a few moments, crossing her hands in her lap. “He’ll know what to do.”

Maya traced the title of the textbook and picked at the page flap on the inside. She looked at Gabriel, closed the book and stood up.

She turned around and began digging through the various cupboards and the refrigerator. The very least she could do for being an inconvienence and barging in on Dr. Suresh’s life is prepare a well-cooked meal.

“What are you doing?” Gabriel asked.

Maya straightened, hand on the top of the refrigator door. “I don’t know this man as you do. I’m but a stranger, asking for help and what do I have in return? Nothing. I won’t be empty handed when he arrives,” she said, shaking her head and turning away from Gabriel before he could disagree or try and make her feel better.

The cabinets were scant with ingredients she was immediately familiar with, but she would make do.

She found the skillet and placed it on the stove, staring at it a long time until she heard Gabriel call her name.

“I’ve waited so long…” Maya took a deep breath and found the cooking oil. She knew what she was doing. She had to distract herself long enough until Doctor Suresh arrived, hopefully with answers to her millions of questions.


End file.
